An American in Jordan

The Take Control of Your Mate remotes are talking remotes that let the man/woman in your life know exactly what they need to be doing. According to the official website, “the Mate Remote delivers a riot of verbal one-offs and funny sound effects sure to keep your spouse on the right track.”

The Control Your Man remote features options for boosting both sensitivity and maturity while lowering ego. There are controls for speeding up or slowing down (or stopping altogether) your man’s communication, appearance or romance drive. There is “give me” button when the time comes to demand either candy or a massage along with a “tell me” button when you need to feel sexy or loved. The Control Your Man remote comes complete with 18 phrases including, “Time to listen!”, “What about my needs?” or “What were you thinking?”.

The Control Your Woman remote features options that boost tolerance and acceptance with an extra option for lowering standards. Further controls include speeding up or slowing down (or stopping altogether) your woman’s cleaning, spending or sex drive. The “bring me” buttons feature both drink and food while the “let me” buttons are for the times when you need to be alone or just get out of the house. The Control Your Woman remote comes with 18 essential phrases including, “Zip it!”, “Clean up on aisle four!” or “All right, hand over the credit cards!”.

Both remotes come complete with power and mute buttons and run off of AA batteries.

I read one review from a guy who purchased the Control Your Woman remote that seemed to think that some of the buttons were broken. Like all of them except increase spending, decrease cleaning and decrease sex. And the mute button sure as heck didn’t work.