A Simple Matter of Logic Verses Emotion?
I went to lunch with a dear Palestinian friend of mine yesterday. His name is Mohammad and I know his story very well. Mohammad’s father died when he was 12, leaving him to support his mother and five sisters. His extended family would not help support them financially, so my Mohammad was forced to drop out of school to work for a living. His work kept him from finishing his schooling, despite high marks and an impressive intellect, which has since relegated him to low-paying positions that don’t require higher education.
Back in the early 90’s, Mohammad passed up an opportunity to move to the United States in order to pursue a better job. His mother pleaded with him not to go in fear that he would be killed by the “black ones” in a convenient mart somewhere. Instead, Mohammad’s friend went in his stead and is now a very successful businessman. Mohammad has always regretted being swayed by his mother’s emotional plea.
Mohammad eventually married. Shortly after his marriage, a home theft deprived him of his hard-earned savings, leaving him with nothing. It wasn’t long before Mohammad and his wife began having children: first a son and then two girls. Now Mohammad feels like he is a never ending vortex, always working insane hours to support his wife, children, mother and sisters, but never able to escape due to educational and monetary limitations.
But Mohammad does have one thing: a large plot of land and a house in Nablus, Palestine. The land belonged to his father and his grandfather and his great grandfather and his great, great grandfather before that. Given the current political circumstances, Mohammad cannot return to this land and so it sits barren. He estimates that the land is easily worth $100,000 if sold, but he isn’t considering selling because of the family and emotional ties that are attached to the land.
Coming from a Western culture, I tend to view this land as a solution. The sale of this land would allow Mohammad to take some time off of work to finish his education, after which he would be able to procure a more fulfilling job. He could even set aside some of the money to provide for his son’s future education. If money is the barrier that is keeping Mohammad from achieving his dreams, then selling the land is the most logical option.
I understand that my Western culture tends to not place the same priorities on issues that may be important to someone in an Eastern culture. The fact that a certain parcel of land has been in the family for generations, or that it is located in a specific location does not hold great importance to me. I view this as the difference between living in the past or providing for the future. If I were in Mohammad’s position, I would assume that my father and grandfathers would be more concerned about the education of their offspring than keeping a plot of land in the family. For me, it’s a simple case of logic.
And so I ask you to put yourself in Mohammad’s shoes. What would you do?
Layla November 3rd, 2007 7:15 pm
I think the sticking point is the location, Palestine. For many in the diaspora it has become so much more than mere soil and rocks; it’s a homeland, as opposed to an investment, and to give it up would be crushing.
But equally, looking to the future and the prospects of Mohammad’s children raises a multitude of further dilemmas on whether the next generation will understand their father’s inability to fund their higher education, or if it could cause resentment.
The post is so profound, and yet applicable to many other Palestinians in the diaspora communities of the region. I guess there is no easy solution to the heart versus mind quandary!
Qwaider قويدر November 3rd, 2007 7:41 pm
Many people have decided to invest more in their future, than their past!
So what if land was sold to finance the present and the future. Get a better job, get more money, and go and buy it back.
There’s a big chance Mohammad will not be able to sell that land for many external reasons.
Best of luck to him
Beautiful theme by the way, especially the mount Rushmore head up top!
onzlo November 3rd, 2007 7:43 pm
Sell some (half?) of the land to someone you trust and keep the rest, use the money for education? If later on he gets lucky then he can buy something back maybe.
Azzam November 3rd, 2007 9:05 pm
“I understand that my Western culture tends to not place the same priorities on issues that may be important to someone in an Eastern culture.”
the most racist and narrow minded post i have ever seen on the jordanian bloggosphere. this has nothing to do with east vs west. this has something to do with someone in a state of war over land and root with an enemy who seeks to replace him.
and the quote about the “black one” reflects your racist mentality. shame on your for scandalizing your “friend”
NEVER LET AN AMERICAN INTO YOUR HOME THINKING HE IS ADEAR FRIEND BECAUSE YOU WILL BE AL OVER THE NET.
Dave November 3rd, 2007 9:10 pm
Azzam, I assure you that there is no racism implied or intended in this post and I regret that you mistook it as such.
There is nothing wrong with stating the obvious: that East and West cultures tend to place higher priorities on different things. Neither side is right nor wrong…just different. And I for one would rather acknowledge and celebrate our differences because it is what makes us unique. This statement was a disclaimer in which I was saying that I may not quite understand all the implications of my friend’s decision because I am from a different culture.
As for the “black ones”, I am simply quoting Mohammad’s mother exact words.
Rebellious Arab Girl November 3rd, 2007 9:35 pm
Hello,
I came here from another site saying that this post of yours is racist. I read it and I really didn’t see anything of that nature. Each of us is entitled for our opinion. Some of our opinions are based on our point of view and our knowledge of the matter. You even asked your audience for their opinion about the matter and opened the discussion. I don’t see the problem.
I think things for Mohammad could have been different if he chose to do so. However, in the middle east, the family ties are very strong and leaving your family is pure abandonment. I will not agree with what he did, but in all honesty, he should have left to the US and then slowly brought his family to there like many others that do so.
bakkouz November 3rd, 2007 9:53 pm
All I can say is that if I was in his place, I would sell the piece of land if I could, I mean, I have my children’s future and education to think about. Plus as Qwaider said it would open up opportunities, and provide better livelihood for the family.
Land is dear, I understand that, but living a better more decent life especially when a large family is involved is more important. it doesn’t make you a traitor, it makes you a human being. politics isn’t everything in life.
Firas November 3rd, 2007 11:01 pm
AZZAM
I don’t see how this post could be interpreted as racist!
And many people in Jordan mention the same particular story for not wanting to go to the US and getting shot in a grocery shop for some dollars, and yes they mention black people, it happened in real life and you see it on TV, though I totally disagree with such generalization, but Jordanians do use this very same example!
Many Palestinians do sell their land to other Palestinians in time of need, this is not about selling land to the Israelis or something. It’s rather a personal choice of Mohammad. I don’t see how it’s racist? Hating Americans for just being Americans is racist for sure.
DAVE
For Palestinians who had to fled their lands in fear of the Israeli gangs and later the army, they’ve lost everything they own and settled in camps and lands foreign to them, so owning a land become some sort of pride and feeling of belongingness to a place. I think this emotional tie to the land could be found in all cultures, just like the natives in the US. Mohd. most probably thinks here he is nothing, but back home, he own a house and a big farm inherited over generations.
asoom November 3rd, 2007 11:05 pm
Interesting post! I would see if I can sell the land to a person I’m connected with, like a family member or a close friend so that it stays “within”. Barren land is just not practical but I do understand the emotional ties given the region.
Azzam, you’re mistaken, this is very much an eastern vs. western mentality issues-different factors are placed at higher priorities. It’s the difference between me and my dad! As for the “black ones” comment, dave isn’t being racist he’s simply quoting what was stated, alot of my relatives in the middle east have similar sentiment about black people, actually alot of my elderly relative in the US say similar things. Our people are far from perfect you know, I don’t understand why you took that as Dave being racist.
Nizar November 3rd, 2007 11:15 pm
Sell the land.
I mean he tried his best to live without selling it plus he can’t use the land anymore so selling it is the solution.
Anon November 3rd, 2007 11:30 pm
What a tough spot to be in! What makes him think his children won’t sell it once they inherit it? Little Bilal, wants to buy a car….so he sells the land to get the S500 to show off around Amman in! Little Amira wants to have plastic surgery(just kidding!), lets say she wants to go to school, she might sell her portion of the inheritance!
And in America Blacks just aren’t wondering around with guns and knives, robbing people left and right. Yes party stores are a dangerious job, with a high risk of robbery and murder, but why counldn’t he get an education while working at the university. America is great in that you are able to save money….even though it is expensive…take the public transportation, cook at home, don’t watch TV. There are so many ways to scale back your spending and save. Look at the Latinos! They send money back to their families!
As for me personally, I have inhertied and bought lots of land in Jordan and in no way will I leave any for my kids just because. I will allow them to buy it from me if they’d like, but no way just give it to them. They meet my expectations and if I feel they deserve it, then yes they will get some. I also expect them to pay for their own education, in one form or another and if that means working a crappy job, well then so be it. They need to plan for their future and if a crappy job is all they can get, well then that is what they get. I spent my youth shoving snow off entire driveways for 25 cents or babysitting for $.50 per hour. I think it had a positive effect on me and taught me that if I wanted something then I had to work hard for it! Yes, even saving $150 worth of quarters to by my first stereo!
hatem abunimeh November 3rd, 2007 11:48 pm
Dave,
It is not exactly clear from your post if Mohammad is the only heir to this parcel of land. Usually the proceeds would have to be divided amongst several family members and if this is the case then his share would be a lot less than the puported $100,000.Even if we assume that he is the sole owner of this land,100,000 can barely buy you a decent apartment in west Amman.
Nas November 4th, 2007 12:14 am
azzam has a funny interpretation of “Racism”
i agree that in the case of palestine, its more than just a bunch of soil and rocks. there is a dream embedded in that soil. there is the belief that one day he will be able to return to it, or see it, or build on it, or leave it for his kids.
this is a wonderful dream, and it might even be worth living in a state of financial misery to see it fulfilled.
but reality states the following:
he should probably sell it and benefit himself and his family because in all likelihood, Israel will eventually steal it from him as it has with most of Palestinian land until this very day. he could be living on it right now and tomorrow morning it is possible he will find himself waking to a bulldozer on his steps.
bambam November 4th, 2007 1:22 am
eh ….. does it need deep thought ?
sell it
but the funny thing is that he probably can’t
since he hasn’t lived there i am willing to bet that some other side of his family has already sold it a long time ago and he just doesn’t know it
either way am glad that azzam is the only paranoid voice in the choir
Roger November 4th, 2007 2:55 am
For me Land is land anywhere and everywhere.
If I was in Mohammed’s place I would sell the land and make a future out of it for my family.
By the way, congrats for the new blog, I like the look & the colors very much.
Hani Obaid November 4th, 2007 3:06 am
I add my voice to everyone else’s in that there was nothing racist about Dave’s voice. Even his friend’s mother probably never saw a black person, and her stereotype is probably from how they are portrayed in movies.
I agree selling the land is the logical thing to do. I mean pride is one thing, but not when he has 2 families to support. No one said he should sell it to Israelis, an arab buyer will do nicely.
Dave November 4th, 2007 7:51 am
Everyone, thanks for all the good comments and insights thus far. I tend to approach this situation from a more clinical standpoint and I want to understand the emotional attachment that exists in this situation.
eyad November 4th, 2007 9:07 am
you know sometimes many factors play role in making a decision, sometimes its even stupid decision, i told you that i went to Australia, but i returned back after one month, because i couldn’t stand the fact to leave my old father and mother alone, i’m their only son, may be in the west you do something else, if you were my shoes, I think after all its personal, and sometimes when we make a decision we shouldn’t regret it after that whatever happens.
thnx for the post, and it was nice meeting you David.
Dave November 4th, 2007 9:21 am
Eyad, it was good meeting you, as well. Thanks for the good conversation.
Ola November 4th, 2007 9:30 am
I won’t put myself in Mohammad’s shoes, I was once there for real. We had a plot of land in Jerusalem, and there was some talk in the family to sell it and give the money to the heirs and heiresses. There was much talk whether to sell or not to sell, so we had to use some logic. We no longer live in Palestine, and if we didn’t sell it to soemone the Zionists will take over it, knowing that the owners aren’t living in Palestine. Besides, it was worht a lot of money that anyone could use. So what do we do? We had two options:
1) Sell it to a Plaestinian person who lives there
2) Sell it a jew for triple or even more than triple the price
And you know, it was a no-brainer, we sold it for a Palestinian man who can take care of it. I don’t know if it’s right or wrong, but that was our reasoning…
bambam November 4th, 2007 10:39 am
who eventually sold it to the jew to make profit which made the guilt trip a mute one
LOL
kinzi November 4th, 2007 1:13 pm
Valuable discussion, thanks for the kick-off, Dave. Nice new look, too!
UmmFarouq November 4th, 2007 1:29 pm
I don’t think I could sell the land, but then again, the land my husband’s family ‘has’ in Jerusalem has been divvied up unfairly among my MILs brother and sons, so it is not benefiting her in any way, except to say “my family owned land in Palestine.”
Nice new blog digs.
Ola November 4th, 2007 2:10 pm
bambam: Not funny!
suma November 4th, 2007 2:29 pm
dave, why did you have to scandalize your dear friend. why not post the issue in the form of a generic question. and what’s the point of the “black ones” reference except to further scandalize your friend’s mother. when people invite you to their homes, they expect that yoau respect the privacy of the conversations. that’s an eastern and western culture thing.
Jad November 4th, 2007 3:22 pm
Azzam: Get a life
David:
I’d definitely sell it for my and my kids future.
Jad November 4th, 2007 3:24 pm
by the way, if that land is under Israeli authorities it would be a harder decision for him to sell it to them or even to Israeli citizen.
Dave November 4th, 2007 3:41 pm
Suma, I’m not sure how this post scandalizes anyone. My friend’s life has unfortunately one of hardship and regret. Now his desire is to rise above his current situation and work towards a better future. There’s nothing dishonorable about that.
Second, Mohammad’s story is all too common in this part of the world. As a visitor in this culture, I am attempting to understand the unique differences between us in an attempt to be a better friend. And I’ll have you know, Mohammad is like a brother to me, so I would never intentionally betray his trust. (If you feel like I have done so, I suggest you go and tell him. Good luck finding the Mohammad that I am referring to.)
And third, I invited him out for lunch. I paid for the meal in a restaurant that he would otherwise be unable to afford. Our conversation was in a public place, so it didn’t take place in the privacy and hospitality of his home.
Waraqa November 4th, 2007 3:50 pm
Let me get this straight Dave. So if I invite someone to a public place for a meal or a drink, i am at liberty to share the conversations with the rest of the world? Do you think your friend would have approved of this? This reminds me of the new hobby by many Americans to kiss and tell. some post it on blogs, others publish books on their adventures in Arab world. There is something unsettling about this sort of betrayal of trust which seems to have become a trend.
Dave November 4th, 2007 4:52 pm
Waraqa, it happens all the time, especially here in Jordan and on Jordanian blogs. Besides, in this matter I have not betrayed my friend or his trust.
Perhaps I should publish a book on over-zealous, over-protective, over-suspicious people who post comments on my blog.
mo November 4th, 2007 6:55 pm
i know its a capitalist sh** world the almighty dollar bla bla bla but still ideally speaking money isnt everything in this world
MommaBean November 5th, 2007 8:53 am
Dave, I think the whole idea of shaming Mohammed may also be a cultural disconnect. I mean, really saying your friend mohammed told you something is about as anonymous as you can get given the prominence and popularity of the name. However, I’d also like to say that I can sorta get where he’s coming from. It’s not a very American perspective as we tend to have less attachment to places (and maybe people too). Most people in the US have moved around at least once, many more than that. However, when I think of home (in that idealized, rose colored way), I think of the place I grew up. If I owned land there (and it wasn’t a hassle) I might see it in the same light and be reluctant to sell it. Compound that with the idea of the land being in a homeland that was stolen from me and I’d most likely grab it with both fists and not let go.
Jumana November 5th, 2007 9:52 am
dave…the title of your thread makes your article racist. simple logic vs. emotions. the assumption that attachment to land is an emotional thing and but the arabs are illogical because it’s cultural. you will find people in the logical west like your arab friend (i doubt he will be your friend if he finds out about this) who have attachment to their plot of land for whatever nostalgic reasons. western literature abounds with such stories, real or fictional. so please before you pull “I am Mr. Spock” do some research.
again, i am not sure i would want to be invited by you to anything. you really have to be more respectful of people’s private conversations. gossiping to another friend is not cool, advertising it to the world is unacceptable. the fact you chose a palestinian from a place where land is the cause of an internecine war has a special meaning that sets your post apart from regular columns. your post is very political, dave.
Dave November 5th, 2007 10:07 am
Jumana, the title of this post simply reflects the differences between my approach to the subject verses my friend’s approach. Carefully note that the post title is in the form of a question, asking whether this is just a matter of logic verses emotion or something more.
Also note I am not referring to Arabs as emotional verses logical. The topic on hand deals with a single issue of a single person: whether to keep land in hopes of a return, or sell it in an attempt at a more guaranteed future. There’s no right or wrong answer, just pondering.
And next time, be a bit more respectful yourself and put your actual e-mail address in the box.
Sid Vicious November 5th, 2007 12:10 pm
Ignore them man. Self-righteous imbeciles. Jumana here cannot tell the difference between a question and a normal sentence, and the other guy accuses you of Racism then prompts us to “NEVER LET AN AMERICAN INTO YOUR HOME THINKING HE IS ADEAR FRIEND BECAUSE YOU WILL BE AL OVER THE NET.” Nevertheless, I’m quite impressed by the fact that he’s managed to squeeze 300 million americans into that sentence. That’s “Truthiness” for ya.
Dave November 5th, 2007 12:37 pm
Sid, I like your band.
Sid Vicious November 5th, 2007 3:36 pm
Thanks man. I like your blog
alcard0 November 6th, 2007 2:28 am
Perhaps he could sell it to finance his son AND his daughters future education.
Awartany November 6th, 2007 2:34 pm
Well, talking about myself, my family has owned a land in Palestine; it was under threat of being stolen by Israelis under their stupid-case-specific-invented-laws! We didn’t have a choice but selling it to a relative for the purpose of keeping it, at least in a Palestinians hands. I know people whom land were stolen, offered compensation, but never accepted. It’s a matter of identity, dignity, and heritage. In normal circumstances (I mean no Israeli threat, and even under the worst financial situations) no one would sell their land. It’s too complicated, you can’t get a generalized result, and it’s a case by case matter. You should discard what commented in here unless there was a personal experience.
Bottom line, if you want to study cultural differences between East and West, pick a case in another country.
Hey BTW, I don’t find a single word in your post racist (considering your clarifications).
I am a Bigot, and heretic, a Bitch, a smart ass, a philistine …etc | BamBam World October 20th, 2008 2:53 pm
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